of goodbyes

I want to take a minute and write about something that happened this week, partly to share why I haven’t been blogging, and partly just to write.

About a week ago, I lost my beautiful friend Kait. There aren’t enough words to express the range of emotions that have run rampant throughout the past few days. In all honesty, it still doesn’t feel real. It’s been almost exactly a week since I received the horrible phone call containing the news, and yet I still expect to see her, that maybe I’ll get a text message from her later today asking if we have plans for Super Bowl weekend. It’s just simply not fair. I’d thought that we’d be dancing at one another’s weddings in the future, not saying goodbye all too soon.

Tragedies like this one are senseless and unexplainable. I think there are questions that will forever be unanswered. But I suppose the one thing to take away from any sort of sudden loss is the realization of how precious life is, how much every second of every day counts. In the end, it’s the little things that matter, the little things that you remember. At a New Year’s Eve party, she made strawberry cocktails for everyone, laughing about how she’d sliced her finger accidentally a few months prior while preparing the same drink. That was the amazing kind of person she was– able to laugh at herself, to make a mistake and then move right on. Or that rainy April afternoon a couple years ago, when I was on break and at loose ends with nothing to do, she was willing to sit in traffic after a long day at work just to meet for coffee and manicures on my side of town. It’s the little things, not the milestones, that stay with you- coffee dates, gossiping while waiting for a table, doing dishes after a party, moments of laughter & light.

I will never understand why we all had to lose such an amazing person so soon. But I know that every person who is mourning for this loss is also grateful for every day they had with her. If there’s anything to keep in mind, day in and day out, it’s to relish every moment you get with your loved ones, for every last drop of it is a gift. <3